Something Missing
by onceuponanevilangel
Summary: AU after 3x11 Emma thought her life was perfect, but now things are starting to slip through the cracks. A strange woman is haunting her dreams and foreign memories are appearing in her mind. When the woman shows up at her door claiming that Emma's family is in danger, she is forced to let go of the lies she thought she knew and confront her destiny once and for all.


**So this was an idea that I had after watching 'Going Home' a few times and it manifested into this. I've got an outline for this one and I'm really excited for it, so updates will be quick-ish. I really hope you all enjoy it. **

**Reviews are very much appreciated and will fuel my writing fire! Also, I own nothing.**

* * *

_Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream.  
-Almost Lover: A Fine Frenzy_

* * *

It was almost anticlimactic. One second, Emma was clinging to her memories of Storybrooke as though she could keep them with mere willpower, tears streaming openly down her cheeks. As she started the car, she clung to that tiny shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, something would go wrong and she could stay or she could keep her memories. The purple cloud was rolling closer and she squeezed Henry's hand reassuringly. Hazel eyes met green and Emma pressed the gas.

The next second, the figures in the rearview mirror blurred and disappeared from more than just the landscape. Emma's expression changed from sadness to contentment. Henry pulled his hand out of hers and looked over at her.

"Mom, are you crying?"

"What?" Emma brought her hand up to her cheek and brushed away the tears. "I don't know. Must be allergies or something."

"Whatever. Can I turn on the radio?"

"Yeah, sure. Just don't put on anything annoying, okay?"

Henry nodded and reached for the radio. He flicked it and music blared through the speakers.

_All of the memories so close to me just fade away.  
__All this time you were pretending  
__So much for my happy ending._

"Avril Lavinge counts as annoying," Emma said, flicking the radio off again.

"I thought you liked her," Henry said, raising an eyebrow.

"Not in the mood right now. Why don't you go through the tapes? Put something good on."

Henry popped open the glove compartment and pulled out a stack of cassette tapes. "Mom, you really need to update this stuff. We have these crazy things in the 21st century called CDs and maybe if you're lucky, I'll show you how to work an iPod."

Emma cracked a smile and playfully punched her son's shoulder before grabbing the tapes and snapping the glove compartment shut. "Just for that, you lost your DJ privileges. Tonight we are listening to…" She glanced down at the cassette case she had picked at random. "…Queen."

"You don't like Queen though. Why do you even have these tapes?"

"They came with the car," Emma said quickly. "It's a long story. Now we have a long drive back to the city. You up for pizza and video games when we get home?"

"When am I not?" Henry replied with a bright smile.

"Awesome." Emma hit play on the radio and We Will Rock You instantly flooded through the speakers. Not ten minutes ago she had been a savior. Now she was once again just Emma Swan.

* * *

Regina couldn't watch. Everyone else kept their eyes glued to the yellow bug as it drove away, but Regina couldn't do it. She turned her back to the town line and looked down at the curse in her hand. Her vision was blurred by tears as she tore the scroll apart and crumpled it. She let it fall to the ground before looking up at the purple cloud rolling closer. Every part of her longed to turn around and run after the car. There was nothing left for her in the Enchanted Forest anyway.

But she didn't move. Regina raised her hands as the bug drove over the orange line. She could feel the magic surging hot and powerful within her. With a deep breath, she let it burst forth. Purple jets of light shot up from her outstretched hands and met the curse cloud head on. The magic enveloped everyone almost completely before Regina chanced a glance over her shoulder, but it was too late. The yellow car was gone and so were Emma and Henry.

The world started to spin and Regina heard Snow let out a sob. She had to fight to keep herself from doing the same. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip until she tasted blood. Magic swirled around her. She could feel her clothes disappearing only to be replaced by an elaborate gown. Of course the curse would take everything.

Finally, the spinning stopped and Regina was thrown against the cold, hard ground. She slowly picked herself up and blinked a few times, tears still burning at the backs of her eyes. Her skirts rustled as she stood up. This dress had always been tight, but it was the kind of tight that made it feel like it was holding her together. Now it just pinched in all the wrong places.

She looked around and saw Snow holding Charming like he could disappear at any moment and sobbing into his shoulder. He had his arms wrapped around her as silent tears dripped down his cheeks too. Hook and Neal were standing against the trees. They both looked altogether too okay with everything that was happening, but Regina attributed that to shock. At least she hoped that was it. Belle was still in a state of shock, sitting on the ground and looking blankly around.

Regina leaned against the trunk of a tree and brought one hand up to her temple while the other snaked instinctively around her torso. She found herself unable to stop thinking about Henry. She could almost feel his warm arms around her and when she closed her eyes she could practically feel the tickle of his hair against her nose. It physically hurt to think about him. She felt salty tears dripping down her cheeks.

She lost track of how long they stood there, all absorbed in their own little worlds. The sky was starting to grow dark when Snow finally seemed to have cried herself out. She stood up, wiping the tears from her face and looked around.

"Well," she said, her voice scratchy and wavering. "We have to do something. I recognize this part of the forest. We're not too far from your castle, Regina. I say we go there for now and start figuring out how to get back in the morning."

"Sounds good to me," Charming replied, wrapping an arm around his wife.

"Alright. Lead the way," Belle said. Hook and Neal didn't say anything. They were smart enough not to even try.

"Regina, are you coming?" Snow asked. The other woman was still leaning up the tree with her arms around herself.

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. After a deep breath, she started to walk after the group. Her feet felt heavy, though, and she knew exactly why. She had no desire to go back to that castle. All it would do was dredge up old memories. Nevertheless, she followed the five people in front of her, all of whom were wearing clothing from the old days as well.

The forest hadn't changed much in thirty years. Of course, there wasn't a whole lot of changing that trees could do, but Regina was surprised by how easily she recognized the area. True to Snow's word the walk to the castle only took about half an hour. The black iron gates were old and rusted, but they sprang open again when Regina pressed her hand to them.

"Are you okay?" Snow asked as Regina moved to let the others into the courtyard.

"I'm fine," she spat back. She hated that she couldn't keep the tremble from her voice.

"We'll find a way to get back to them. Just have faith."

Regina didn't say anything. She followed Snow inside and let the gate bang shut behind her.

The castle looked exactly as it had thirty years ago save for the thick layer of dust. Bandits might have been able to break into Rumplestiltskin's manor over the years, but Regina had made sure that no one could touch her precious palace.

"There are rooms up the stairs and down the first hallway that you can sleep in," Regina said absently, gesturing to the staircase in the center of the room.

"Um… I didn't want to be the one to ask," Neal started. "…but I'm kind of hungry. Is there food?"

"Oh, right. Of course." Regina waved her hand absently and a table appeared with plates of sandwiches. It was all she could manage.

"Is it alright if I sleep in my old room?" Snow asked. Regina jumped at the voice. She hadn't heard the younger woman come up behind her.

"If you want to. So long as you still remember where it is," Regina said with a fraction of her usual bite.

"Thanks." With that, she disappeared up the stairs, Charming not far behind.

Regina walked up the stairs slowly before Belle, Neal, or Hook could talk to her even though she doubted any of them would actually try. Each step reminded her of the last time she had walked these halls. Try as she might, she couldn't push the images out of her mind. Her footsteps echoed in the empty hallway. She passed a few doors, retracing the path to her old bedroom.

One door was cracked open and when Regina peeked inside she could see Snow and Charming cuddled up on Snow's old bed. They were already asleep. This was one of the few rooms she had left untouched after taking over the former summer palace. For the first time, she was almost glad she had.

The biggest door at the end of the hall was hers. She pushed it open and stepped into the big, dark room. She didn't remember it being quite so cold. She waved her hand and the half-melted candles on the vanity and on the night table lit up. The flickering light cast shadows on the walls. Another swift movement and she was in a pair of slate gray, silken pajamas and a gray robe just like in Storybrooke. They felt warm and certainly more comfortable that anything from this land.

After dressing, Regina flopped down onto the bed. A cloud of dust rose up as she did so. A wave of her hand and it was gone. Finally she was alone. The desperate sobs that she had been holding in since the town line wrenched themselves forth. She grabbed a pillow and used it to stifle the noise. After a few minutes, the tears refused to fall anymore, so she settled for just rocking back and forth until her body stopped trembling.

Maybe Snow was right. Maybe they really could find a way back. Then again, maybe not. It was starting to sink in that she might never see Emma or Henry again. She wasn't really sure why the thought of missing the blonde stung almost as much as missing her son, but she didn't question it. She had lost the only two people who had ever seen her as just Regina and it was more than likely she had lost them forever.

Then the thought crossed her mind. At first is was just a fleeting idea, but after puzzling over it for a few minutes, she realized that it might just work. She stood up and walked quickly over to her vanity, bare feet like ice cubes against the cold floor. She grabbed the hand mirror from the table top and sat back down on the bed. It was the same mirror the genie had given her so many years before. Luckily, though, he wasn't in it.

Regina took a deep breath and used her sleeve to wipe the dust off of the glass. The wooden handle felt unnaturally cold in her hand and the gilt mirror itself was heavier than she remembered. She had to think for a moment to recall the spell. She hadn't used it in ages and she had no idea if it would even work across worlds, but she had to try.

She shut her eyes before taking another deep breath to steady the shaking hand holding the mirror while the free hand waved over the glass. She concentrated hard and felt the glass ripple beneath her fingertips. It was working. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, almost afraid to open them. This was her last hope and she wasn't sure she could handle being let down. But she had to try. She swallowed hard and willed her voice to be strong before saying, "Show me my family."

* * *

"Aw, come on!" Emma shouted. "Not fair!"

"Totally fair," Henry shot back smugly.

"Come on, can't we do something else?"

"No way. It's my turn to pick and I want that one."

"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of it, am I?"

"Nope."

"Fine. Let's get this over with then," Emma said with a heavy sigh. She punched the button on her Wii remote and the TV changed to show the Mario Kart characters lined up, ready to start the race. The countdown flashed across the screen and the characters instantly took off down the rainbow track. Emma leaned into the turns as best she could, but she inevitably fell off at just about every curve until she was so far behind that not even a bullet boost could help.

"When the hell did you get so good at this?" she asked as she watched Yoshi plummet off the track again. Henry, meanwhile, was in first place and was maneuvering Mario easily around the curves.

"I finished my homework early the other day and I had nothing better to do, so I started playing." He shrugged, never taking his eyes off the screen. "Besides, Rainbow Road isn't even that hard once you get used to it."

"Whatever." The doorbell rang and Emma, seeing that she wasn't going to catch up anytime soon, dropped her remote on the couch and went to answer it. She opened the door and was greeted by a tall teenage boy in a bright red polo carrying a pizza box and a bag of cheese sticks and garlic bread. She took the food and rummaged around in her pocket to find her wallet.

"That'll be twenty-one eighty-five," he said.

Emma handed over the money. "Thanks."

"No problem. Have a nice night."

She shut the door and carried the pizza into the living room just as Henry zoomed past the finish line for the last time. "Did you win?" she asked, setting the box on the coffee table.

"Yup."

"You cheated."

"Did not."

"Did too," Emma called as she walked around the island into the kitchen area. She grabbed two plates out of a cabinet and opened the fridge. "You want Coke or root beer?"

"We're having soda?" Henry asked, already munching on a mozzarella stick.

"I'm sorry, are you complaining?" Emma asked, grabbing a bottle of Coke for herself. "Because there's a perfectly good faucet over there if you'd prefer that."

"Not complaining, just wondering. I'll have root beer."

Emma grabbed a bottle of root beer too before hitting the fridge door shut with her hip and walking back into the living room area. She set the plates and sodas on the table and picked up the remote. "What do you want to watch?"

"I don't know," Henry said. "What's on?"

"Apparently not much," Emma muttered, flicking through channel after channel of talk shows and infomercials. There didn't seem to be anything good on at 9:30 on a Friday night. After a few moments, she gave up and tossed the remote onto the couch. "You want to watch a movie instead?"

"Can it be the Avengers?"

"I think that can be arranged." Emma grabbed the movie in question off of the shelf next to the TV and slid it into the DVD player. She plopped down on the couch next to her son, grabbed a plate, and dropped two slices of greasy pepperoni pizza onto it. The movie started and she twisted the cap off her soda. Henry was already attacking a piece of garlic bread. She smiled and leaned back, taking a big bite of her pizza. It was moments like this when she was most grateful she hadn't given him up.

* * *

The mirror was in the perfect spot. It was at the end of the narrow hall that led to the front door and it gave Regina a perfect view of the couch in the living room. She could see Emma and Henry eating dinner as they watched the movie, grease from the pizza dripping down their chins. She couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of course the blonde would feed him junk.

Regina's heart clenched as she watched Henry set down his plate and lean into Emma's side. It was late and the boy was fighting a losing battle with sleep. He bit back a yawn and rubbed at his eyes. Emma noticed and paused the movie.

"Bed, kid. You can watch more in the morning," she said, shaking Henry's leg. He reluctantly stood up and trudged out of view. Emma, however, stayed planted on the couch. She put her feet up on the coffee table and used the remote to turn off the DVD player and switch back to regular TV. She turned on some arbitrary show; Regina couldn't hear what it was. It wasn't long before the blonde was asleep too.

Regina smiled. Maybe she'd never get to hold her son again, but at least she could check up on him whenever she needed to, even if he couldn't see her. She kept her eyes glued to the mirror in her hand and watched the blue glow of the TV screen dance across the small room. She had done everything in her power to make sure Emma and Henry would be happy and it looked as if she had done her job well.

A knock on her door made Regina jump and almost drop the mirror. She set it down on the bed next to her and stood up. "Come in."

The door slowly creaked open and Snow poked her head in the doorway.

"I thought you were asleep," Regina said.

"I woke up," Snow replied. "What are you doing up?"

"None of your business," Regina snapped with more venom than she had intended. She bit her lip and looked down, half expecting Snow to leave, but she didn't. Instead she took a step forward and gestured to the bed.

"May I?"

"Make yourself at home," Regina said with a hint of a sarcastic bite. Snow sat down on the edge of the bed and gestured for her former stepmother to sit next to her. "I just wanted to talk to you and let you know that it's okay."

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked, raising one eyebrow slightly.

"I see the way you look at her. Emma I mean."

"And what way would that be, dear?"

"The same way I look at Charming. With love."

Regina wasn't exactly sure where she had expected that sentence to end, but it definitely wasn't there. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. It was true, she didn't mind Emma's company so much as that of just about anyone else and she had accepted that if Henry was still going to be a part of her life, his birth-mother was too, but love? That was ridiculous.

Then again, the incident with the trigger was something Regina still couldn't explain. Even a product of true love wouldn't ordinarily be that strong and the way that Emma's magic fused perfectly with her own was extraordinary to say the least. And the way her stomach clenched whenever she saw the blonde and the way it felt seeing her smile did suggest something more.

She felt her cheeks grow hot as she said, "And you would be…alright with that? If you were right, of course, which you're not."

A smile tugged at the edges of Snow's lips as she watched a pink blush creep up Regina's cheeks. "At first, no. Family thorn bush aside, the very idea of Emma falling in love with the Evil Queen was torturous. I tried to push her at anyone else I could to keep her away from you. But I've come to realize that you've really been trying to change and Emma's a big girl. She can make her own choice if and when the time comes. Plus, I kept you from love once. I don't want to do it again."

Regina was silent for a long moment. Then she asked, "Does anyone else know?"

"No."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll leave you alone then." Snow started to stand up, but Regina grabbed her wrist and pulled her back onto the bed.

"Wait. I have to show you something." Regina grabbed the mirror and used the spell again. Instantly, the surface of the glass rippled and changed until the two women were looking at the apartment. Emma was still asleep on the couch and the TV was still on.

"Is that…?" Snow trailed off as she stared into the mirror. Regina half expected her to start crying, but the younger woman kept a straight face.

"Yes. We can see them."

"But they can't see us?"

"No."

"Well at least we have this until we can find a way back to them, right?"

Regina nodded and set the mirror down. "I just have one question," she said, turning back to Snow. "A week ago we were in a fistfight on a pirate ship. Why are you being so nice to me?"

"At the very least, we both lost our children today and we had only just gotten them back. I want to see Emma again just as much as you want to see Henry," Snow replied easily.

"What if we don't, though?" Regina asked. Her voice was weak and she hated it.

"We just have to have faith," Snow said with a small smile. Normally Regina would say that was naïve and idiotic, but this time, she didn't. The former princess might actually be right. After a moment of silence, Snow stood up and started towards the door. "I'll let you get some sleep then. We can figure something out in the morning."

"Good night," Regina responded. Snow closed the door behind her and Regina curled up on the bed, grabbed the mirror, and watched Emma sleep until her own eyes slid shut.


End file.
